EVEN THOUGH.

When the darkness edges closer
The fear retreats within
Hiding in the ever warm folds
It lies like lead to constrict you.

Favourite faces and scented talk
Of ages, minutes occurring long ago
Float oh high above this sweet malaise.

Yet here in the dark its sadder now
Gone are the devils beckoning
Vanquished the soldiers of misfortune
This dawn will bring a new way.

Its been a long time, long time here
Failing like shadows to cover the subject
Wishing fulfilment like a broken promise
To hold, hold on tighter till it leaves.

Wait, stop a minute
Who are you or I?
This is not a Monday morning
Nor the screech from the wildcats beak
Sit a while contemplate
Feel the time like misty scent, arrive.

Not at all, there is no answer
What is there to forgive
Remember Saturday’s gleeful hope
When crying in the midst of all the tears.

Another harp plays out the tune
Number nine just one left
Hope there’s time to get things done
Hope a four letter word.

We cast the net far and wide
In trepidation we employ love
To wallow without sustenance
Upon the oaken beams we call our floor.

And faces smile it was a day
So laugh, we’ve got things done.

GRUM

ESCAPE.

You say you knew who I was
Then you must have known
I was consumed by the need to escape.

If so you hid the solace in your eyes
Denied the light that gave it birth
Pretended worth was something sedentary.

Peering past your hideaway
Surely it was obvious
Languishing here in self pity
A life not fit for a fool.

What was it you saw
For it wasn’t the realisation
That hung like precipitation in the air.

Well, where was the understanding
The innocent smile not just to beguile
Requiem for the truth untold
Briar be the path accosted.

Never to divulge the premonition
But dry the gage for better days
When memory smacks, back on you.
Was it too much to spare the rule
No book to read, no silver lining
Glisten does the cicerones soliloquy.

Like the spiral of a cigarette
To goer comes the nothingness
We righteously deserve.

Seeing is not knowing, sight is mislaid
Chameleon, chimera, reptilian
What once was, was once what was.

But recidivously it isn’t like that at all
Seeking not the chemical glow, forlorn
And still replete with communion respite
Aching in the glow from neon persuasion
Taking journalese answers and wreaking vengeance.

Yes my dear, now this scene is clear
Do you see your misplaced reaction
Rescind the former declaration of recalcitrance
In these no flower to place before this grave stone
Can there be a moral in worlds fearful of the void
You said you knew. Where are you now?!

GRUM

EQUIDISTANT.

I am a fool, no turning back
Locked in the wheel I take on board
The troubles of a world
Its pain and despair
There is no intention to reduce
The burden I must bare.

Over the horizon looking forward
Love is the cursor to be moved
When all is over, then will be time
A wall of vapour trails
Across which my shadow flies.

Too late, I missed the boat
Your eyes shone with hope
And mind with the hate I saw all around
Hard to live when others must die
It wasn’t anybody’s fault
Just a miscalculation.

Don’t let the experience discriminate
Just put it down to troublesome times.

And sharing is experiencing one and the same
If its depression or hate or coldness its that
Which we weave around each other
Words are the deceiver on which we rely
Don’t need the sentiments they fail to express
Deep within its real, asking only makes it worse.

Bear with the fool and both shall be heroes
Image not the spirit never to make smile
Warm is the courage without a face
Fit to lie by me all night.

I have a dream, one good, one bad
Both reveal the synergy but only one synergises
And that’s the rub, it always was
Wanting to hold never to let solve
Stifle does the freewill, molly coddle death too.

Partaking is not being told
But existing at one and the same time
Loving is a feeling never to be expressed (fulfilled)
Don’t push for what seems to be right
It only turns out worse.

GRUM

EMETIC TOXOPHILITE.

Watching the reels go round
Playing another dirge on which we place
All the hopes of a broken heart
There is never any chance to change.

And your mother knows she played her part
Tempered the steel so it wouldn’t give
Broke the heroes so they couldn’t rise
Cast aspersions on the good and the meek
Making a baby, a man to be.

But role after role, filled with desire
Believing the destiny fed by the hour
Goodness knows why an inalienable right
Has to be broken for a game all cant play
Prey death beyond the graves we cry.

If you ask, where do we go from here
The answer wont be quite what you expect
You pull the trigger, taking the life of breath
Not expecting to die not this time
But taking away the props to existence
Only pushes you closer to drop (the fall).

In a warm wet circle, bright red with fear
You see the hunger and satiate it
Its only when you are in it that you
Make sense of it, just a reactionary
Claiming inspiration from ages old
Just for the record this empty gesture
Has no bounds, come see this land.

Its too late, its too far, much too far
The edge is reached and still no reprise
Pushing ever closer to drop
Never question, no never stop
Always the maiming, striving harder
Hating those who seek to wreak
Cause to cease this slaughter, this slaughter.

Whether they will or whether they wont
Who knows I don’t know how to stop it
There’s anger on the telephone and maniacs on street corners
Toting their guns and rights and flouting ours instead.

GRUM

EATING THE LOTUS.

I have a hope, so very dear
I feel it beat within my chest
Yet sad is solitudes cry
Not alone but seemingly
There is a hope, a hope for better things.

Always the dream – out there
Cautionary tale so stale
Out into the ether we must tread.

There some dreams
Born like gods this night
They live and lie like all the rest
Just shadows of remembrance
Of a thought once thought.

So who is the chameleon
The assassin we always knew
Now in the darkest hour
Silence echoes, rings in ears
But there is no sound
No ephemeral understanding
Just like the paper flange
We float to where we always were.

A date is not measure of time
Minutes no cage to hold you down
Within the quiescent hour
We bury our dead and call up our futures
To hold our hands – to make our stands.

And though you feel, you’ve been here before
Somehow the feelings moved on
The smile, the tear never feel the same
Like dust they settle to similar shapes
But underneath are we sure we recognise.

Take a look at what you read
How can it represent what you know
Knowledge is isolated, experience solitude
Hiding in separate realities
Afraid to share the darkness
We cry for tears we couldn’t cry
Holding our hands for what could never be.

And so we rise unrefreshed to lie upon the wheel.

GRUM

DO THE RIGHT THING.

Will the angel be the hero
Will this treatise gravitate
Who will know the answers
To questions we ought to ask.

Well, if you do the right thing
Who’s to blame, who cares
No one talks about you
When you do the right thing.

Invisible demise the spiders web
Interlocking strands a prison for the mind
Suffocating even hearts no less a mind
Trapped within insinuations
Outcast from the crowd, looking in.

Well …

Where do we go from here
Like the road upon the barren shore
Ever deeper into the craggy shore
So many pitfalls on the way.

Hatchet’s burial the possibility of time
Lies like threats upon the brow
Shiver in the sad dejection
That paths been chose by circumstance.

Well …

So you say free will is no will at all
What is wanted is never required
Or so it seems to blind eyes
Complacency the pit in which we fall.

Oh don’t let this darkness overcome
See the chink, where once was light
That tunnel restricts the vision
But not of memories where light once was.

Well …

You can sit in the bar and eject the words
But time cant heal wounds never cut
Torment always spared, cant you see
This is not what’s meant to be.

Well …

GRUM

DOLE.

Its cold outside, winter’s peak
Is yet to nip spring in the bud
Safe inside you turn away from the glass
And put your faith in the heater on the wall
It will keep you safe and warm away from pain
But you cant get it inside your head
What’s gone is gone, no summer no more.

Taking out the photos of faded memories
Checking on your feelings as you slide
Down the sofa, reaching for the tissues
To dry the parsimony reaching up inside
There is nothing left to say, just to cry.

Looking forward via the flickering screen
To a better daze that encapsulates you
Protects the malaise from harm.

How long can you stay this way
Good grief is no grief if it takes away
The senses to live on remote control.

In this old room learning to live again
Taking lessons from video nasties
Attitude training from the 9 o’clock news
Titillating tabloids cheapen the fear
Making it fun to reveal all your charms
Come on get up and out into this paradise.

Knocking on doors they come to yours
Asking you questions through slitted wood
Beckoning you out to enter in
Have you ‘come on down’ too?

Washing the memories out of the prose
Reading into checkov a satirical wit
Basing upon reality, what is that
Hidden here behind your tube
Learning to anger and what to know
Knowing that what is learning, is letting go.

Briefest the appearance of solitude
To wave good-bye to avenging angels
Its time to learn true factor of life
Time enough spent mourning morning.
GRUM

CURTAIN CALL.

As the sun creeps behind the night
It leaves a resonance of its warmth
To speed the path of a mortals passing
Welcoming the ultra into its grasp.

Well don’t shed tears for human fears
They feel only fit for emptiness
And you know that’s not what you desire.

Just another misplaced rendezvous
Displaced by all that’s come between
Harking onto the lateness but hoping blindly
This time it would never happen again.

The time honoured angel sitting by the phone
Waiting on the rain to cleanse the soul
Sentiments torn by indecision belie
What’s truly felt and that’s the only joke we know.

Born at six o’clock, looking skyward
Always tripping on the pseudo-stars below
To score your goal you needed a heart
A heart that’s not broken.

And though you reached the threshold
You thought there was always somewhere
You could restage your play, but
The arrows of culture shock let you down.

Looking through wide eyes, blue eyes despise
All that seeks to create solemnity
Paradise was lost but what was found
The hero never showed his face.

Waiting on false impressions
Creating myths and wanting recompense
Look its time to go, its time to go
Mock not the reasons but the validity
To be numb is too much, too far to go.

I just wanted you to feel so good
But now the bridg is burnt away
Resulting experimental diocese
Contains only the ashes of contempt, contempt.

GRUM

CRIMES OF PASSION.

When you say you do
I feel the spirit drain from me
When you squeeze me
I feel the hopelessness inside.

Well, its all another crime
A crime of passion
Committed by us all
A crime of passion
Raping us all inside.

I see blank walls
Do you see what I see?
I know you are the heroine
But do you feel it in me?

And I don’t want to touch you too much
You cause the hurt to rise
I have no answers
But you have no questions – why not!

Well …

Don’t ever tell me
That you never knew
Deep like I made you aware
But ignorance like bliss holds you down.

Well …

I don’t cry, no not anymore
You can cry for all our tears
My heart died long time ago
Yours it beats for both of us.

I know this song is old for me
You keep me hanging on
I cant seem to tip my hat
One more problem I feel responsible.

Well …

One day when the walls are strong
The gates will close forever
This is not good bye, its good luck cant you see.

Well …
GRUM

CIRCLE OF LIFE (NEVER RELENTING).

I’m not angry, I’m shaking with rage
I’m not tired, I’m fed up with it all
The heat in my head and the beat in my heart
Both tell me its time to rest
And I am just a petrified fool
A notion, a science misunderstood
Crying for air I couldn’t breath
Watching for a sign never to come
After all, that’s why I’m here.

So here is the anguish I leave to you
Is it real the fear we feel
Or was it the gift of ones we hate
That plan our lives and make us want
For a time that never comes
Always hoping the light to shine
Receding the distance to make us blind
It closes another chapter
Yet opens one more door.

I am the cliff edge hanging on
Fingers bared to the bone
Afraid this fair life is not my own
I crowd the day with hopes not fears
Worried I might become one of them.

Sad is the reflection on frosted pain
In summers heat I write my name
With quicksilver dashes it is born
Coated in gold never to be worn.

(then) Here in the sandpit I bury my head
Tempered by the steel embedded in my back
What do you say you little fool
Did you think only you were cruel?
I am the demon I will taste blood
I am the poor man taking your crud
Tired I ask when will it stop
Never the reply, never reach the top.

GRUM